good as gold

happy thanksgiving!

my stinkin adorable little cousin ty was wearing this shirt titled "good as gold" yesterday at yet another epic family gathering. after teasing him about taking my shirt, in light of the holidays, i started to wonder what i would define as "good as gold" in my life.

the movie "the blind side" (highly recommended) shows the life of a man named michael oher, and the story of michael oher smacked my heart across the face. as i heard the story of the well-to-do tuohy family that adopted michael, an extremely large black teenager from a rough background, i saw the gospel shining through. as the southern hospitality shook me, i identified myself with michael, a character in need of saving, one who is helpless and prostrate before the hands of a loving father to take me in. i see michael's "teddy bear" heart of willing acceptance of worth as good as gold.

in psalms 53:3 it says "no one is good, not even one" but at the beginning of time, everything was good until genesis 2:18 when God said it isn't good for man to be alone. how does that work? my conclusion is that relationships are a direct blessing from the Lord in both good times and bad. relationships are hard. people are broken and we'll disagree, we'll change our minds and people will break our hearts. but why? in no other life experience have i understood the weight of the gospel more than when i've loved people well and it wasn't returned.

when i think of my life, i'm thankful. i could make 100's of points on just how ridiculously blessed i am. friends, family, living in God's country, ministry, gifts, turkey.. it goes on and on but when i think of what i lack and want more than anything, i love listening to this song by hillsong called "the desert song". i find that what my desires are most aligned with is the line

"And this is my prayer in the fire, in weakness or trial or pain.
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames."

i desire a believing faith able to be refined in flames, one that allows me to truly believe in what i see is true. that on a cross over 2000 years ago, love was defined. that 3 days later, my fate was sealed to be one with eternal life.

i've been reading a book for about 4 months now titled "the ragamuffin gospel." read it. it's like getting drunk on grace every half page, you will see the cross and your position more clearly, God willing after gracing yourself with it's presence. that being said, I want to leave you with this brief insight on grace. God bless friends, happy holidays!

"we never lay hold of our nothingness before God, and consequently, we never enter into the deepest reality of our relationship with him. but when we accept ownership of our powerlessness and helplessness, when we ackowledge that we are paupers at the door of God's mercy, then God can make something beautiful out of us."

Being Inspired

This crisp, timely fall morning in Stillwater, Oklahoma has led me into a contemplative time of self discovery. Upon the wake of yet another seemingly beautiful day in creation, I want to address the idea of being inspired. Inspiration is a noun, defined “arousing to a particular emotion or action.” We generally want to be inspired but it only comes in a few moments, in which we bask in our coming alive.

Early in life, I feel like these moments were limited to pre junior high football games and those rare moments where I grasped the idea of truly being loved (no mistake, I was told 5x a day by both parents, but really grasping it).

As I’ve been growing in my understanding of myself and my faith, I see that there are moments where I’m both drawn in and inspired to the cause of my Lord and Savior and times when I have a larger sense of contentment with where I am in life and this is what it looks like:
1) A cup of coffee with any of 6 or 7 key men in my life
2) Gospel centered music i.e.: Derek webb, phil wickham, newly found lecrae
3) Late night drives on highway 51 in ol’ blue
4) Late night journaling
5) Matt Chandler sermons
6) Sincerely and unexpectantly helping someone
7) The book of romans

This has been part of what Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 16:13, where he warns us when he says “Be on your guard.” God, through Paul, commands us to know where we’re both strong and weak in order to bring God the most glory possible. My top list of dishonoring moments for the most part is morally neutral, but is a great example of how we can struggle with putting the creation ahead of it’s Creator.
1) Finding my joy in Oklahoma State sports (never a good idea)
2) Being unorganized and unproductive
3) Hitting the snooze button
4) Lacking initiative and intentionality in clear situations
5) Watching a 2nd or 3rd Sportscenter
6) Idolatry of fun-ice cream, friends, comfort

I see that I need to be more aware and full of the good, Christ honoring things in my life, not for my salvation but for the glorification of God in my life. That my life will be ever transforming into that of a more serving, Christ centered figure and that John’s decree in chapter 3 that “He would become more and I would become less” would be true in my life. love you guys have a great day
-mandy candy

fratlife and predestination

so friends... i've been processing some things in life and as a form of letting you all in on my life as well as some sense of accountability i want share it with you. primarily 2 things, and i'm sleepy so i'll be brief.

first, it's easy to be a male but hard to be a man. cultivating the lives of others around you and really living what you say you live for is plenty on any guy's plate. while cleaning tables at my job at a local italian restaraunt last night, it clicked. life's really tough. one of my best friends is going through an aweful situation with the passing of some friends. my dad's best friend recently passed away in a car crash leaving 2 sons behind. on a lighter note, i won't get to watch my cowboys play the bulldogs on saturday for a job. i love that God is far less concerned about my comfort than my joy and holiness in him. sacrificial love, holiness, and the rejection of passivity mark the life of my Savior and they are all great things that i can strive for as i become the man he wants me to be.

and this morning i woke up to a message from one of my best bros about ministry that is impossible to not be inspired by. by the grace of God, this bro and i were put into fraternity houses. i had no idea how much my eyes would be opened. it's been a laundry list of life changes i feel like in the last 3 years, but i'm even more excited about the next step. for so long i've put God in a box and limited what he could do. but i really do believe now that there are people set apart to understand his grace and love and that i should labor for those men. as i really trust him with my life and share that love i know with others, he can do whatever he wants with that. i love being here and getting to be a part of what he's doing.

i'm wore out homies, but i love each one of ya and i'd love to hear about how your lives are going.
-mandy candy

cozumelian symphony

how much fun is it to leave home and live outside of your usual character, right? my evidence comes from this quote from my extremely conservative, sunday school teaching, silver haired father: "why in sam hail would they not play the ymca right now? i mean i just think that sounds like the exact opposite of a great idea." it was a brilliant idea, much to my dismay, my dad had been bouncing around our snorkeling boat with a couple of nice young texans named quinn and scott, that happened to be very enebriated at this point in the tour (4:30pm). it's just not normal what these people do here. i can easily consume 10 ice cream cones a day, my dad doesn't.
that being said, i've daily snorkeled and woken up with the sun. i know right? it's probably sinful on vacation to not sleep in, but if you've seen a caribbean sunrise you know the view redeems itself. the infinite expanse of placid, royal blue and turquoise water combined with phil wickham's "because of your love" is teeming with the essence of our Creator. as i've discovered this aquatic fantasyland, and my immense enjoyment and delight in it, filled with fish of every rainbow color and even a shark, i'm utterly amazed. as my bro-in-law dave and i flippered around, i simply marveled in the beauty of this "whole new world". more deeply in my life i found a too unfamiliar "new world", and brotha/sista is it hard. my man hunter challenged me to memorize 1 john3:16 with him, essentially nothing is greater than laying down your life for fellow people. exhibit b: as i've read this dale carnegie book on how to make friends, i've ran across countless quotes saying "people are genuinely interested in us, when we are interested in them"-billy shakespeare.
as i was caught on to some subtle hints the Lord had been dropping, i started talking to the workers here at the cozumeleno and i met edgar at breakfast yesterday. a strong believer in Christ and i got to encourage him multiple times and i've experienced great joy from it.
if you're my friend and reading this, i'm sorry. i haven't loved you, depending on the person, even close to as well as i should have and i hope you'll forgive me. i love you even if i don't show it well. it'll make Jesus look so sweet as i love people more and i can tell people it was him.
it's almost as if i can say "i see you God. i know what you're doing with me." and it's hard, boy is it hard, but i absolutely love it.

"For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us." 2 corinthians 4:6-7

drawing near to him-sdsp 09'

As I unwind and process the experiences of this sultry season, I find it a sweet taste in my mouth. I feel like a top 3 list will best describe the epic journey and will satisfy my compartmentalizing tendencies. I hope that you will enjoy knowing me more and just to see how I’ve known life and God this summer

3. San dog for a summer.. can’t be beat. surfing, longboarding by the ocean, la playa’s cali burrito and the Jesus flowers at UCSD just to name a few. a summer littered with trips to scripps, laguna and huntington beaches, eating the best corndog and having the best nap of my life, working a beth moore conference with 3200 moms and kevlar, seeing the Albuquerque city lights backed up to the sandia mountains with my best friend from project, and capping it off with 2 days at the happiest place on earth leaves me at a loss for words.

2. the people from project are just priceless. on paper, people from virginia tech, new mexico state, st. louis, okstate and the dakotas (to name a few) wouldn’t seem that compatible but it’s amazing how our deep love for Christ bonds us. late night trips to in-n-out burger and hours at the pueblo, condo g and the banana boat made for some of the deepest friendships I have in life. sharing a barely queen sized bed and life with a bro all summer gave me my best friend from project and a trip to va tech is in line in the fall to sustain some of the dearest friendships I have. my growth group consisted of 4 of the hungriest and best men I know and I can see nothing but great things coming for these men of faith. as I met multiple women, I was deeply encouraged by the beautiful faith and trust they have in our Lord, especially by one sister like figure I will miss dearly. my discipler k.g. made enormous deposits of wisdom and affirmation into my life that I still feel the fx of. the appreciation I want to portray to these men and women can never be truly put into words, but i like how paul put it in Philippians when he said he “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now” because our relationships were just that, centered around Christ and deeply enjoyed.

1. lastly I can’t be thankful enough for what the Lord did in my life this summer. i joked about never hearing the gospel last summer, but i truly heard it this summer. i never really got what Jesus was talking to the woman at the well about living water like I do now. as I sat on the banks of the rio grande yesterday, true love was again revealed to me. God’s undying, compassionate agape love for me consistently stirs my heart and allows me to live and die for him daily. only with Christ at the center can i live a satisfied life.

I’m excited to be back in God’s country with my family and other sweet friends that I miss, but I know that in my heart an Ebenezer (1samuel7:12) has been constructed that will always remind me what the Lord did this last 8 weeks.

-mandy candy

1st grade journal, revisited

in an effort to express the current state of affairs in my life, which i would say are at more of a low tide, footprints disappear in the sand stage, this sophomore address will be in a simple form.

i like california and if you're not here, i'll straight up mourn for ya. i like chicken nuggets and i like what happened to the denver thuggets. i like to eat ice cream with a blueberry and i don't think that having some sprinkles makes me a fairy. i like the banana boat and i'll take milk and cookies any day over a root beer float. i like to smile with d1, after long days of talking with ladies in the sun (that's my boy gettin it done!) i like to listen to michael scott, or maybe dan allan, they both drop it like it's hot. i like sunny days and cool water on my feet and talking with newman, that boy don't miss a beat. i like to think about my baby niece/nephew even if your months old is less than two. i like to think about my dog titus and my main man rudy lee and know that you both miss me. i like to put my hands together and pray walking out by the bay after a typical project day. i like that i share a bed with kfed, he's just my bro and i know that we'll be tight wherever we go. i like to run and play and just know that i can't be stressed, i'm blessed and i'm followin He who's best. i like to play with my friends even if we don't ride in a benz, we enjoy just living a life where Christ paid for our sins.
good night friends, much love
-mandy candy

magical classification

so i've been thinking about who i am a lot lately and it's led to soul searching and the sort. this manifested itself last night in a deep conversation with my good friend jon newman, who also designed my blog page (thank you for that again, you're the best!), and we discussed what houses we would belong to at hogwarts. jon is a very shrewd character and as expected he was put in ravenclaw. surprisingly, the briggs-meyer test resulted in my placement into ravenclaw. i decided that i would most like to be in no, not the stereotypical gryffindor, but rather hufflepuff. but please hear me out, i have my reasons that are revealing about my character. i am primarily drawn to the house of badger because of the good hearted nature of it's inhabitants and more importantly, the imminent opportunity to lead with the recent departure of cedric diggory. this is telling of my character in that i'm not drawn to people because of their intellectual capabilities but rather the goodness of their hearts. i also enjoy the God given desire to lead others successfully and i feel like those characters are generally moreso drawn to the likes of being a gryffindor lion. nevertheless, i would really enjoy the personalities of those that roam the earthy den that is the hufflepuff common room as oppose to the pompous slytherins, cerebral ravenclaws or even the valiant gryffindors. it's really just biblical to be around those who are good in heart, i mean look at this.

Psalms 37:1
1Surely God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart.

i rest my case.