a desirable perception

i love to be perceived as a genuine, relational, laid back and caring person. if honest, i think we all desire to be looked upon in whatever manner we see as the best way to be. i would also contend that we look at situations and people with a grid of knowledge consisting of what we situationally feel is best. i tend to view things with a short checklist:

1. does it pertain to me? 2. can i fix this problem? and 3. what can i learn from this?

as a young man, i have a high tendency to perceive myself as having an unsually large ability to believe that i am what stands between a problem existing and it being solved. some could accredit this to the truth that young men have high testosterone levels, which could be valid. i don't think it's necessarily an awful desire, legitimately it could be how things happen.

but i'm finding a problem with it. if i have the ability to achieve and for some reason, don't achieve.. then what does that do for my self view? failure presents an interesting situation for self esteem. and an even greater question for christians, how does this effect God's perception of me?

one of my favorite authors, a guy named brennan manning has some great thoughts on this question: "we can not assume that he feels about us the way we feel about ourselves unless we love ourselves compassionately, intensely and freely. in human form, Jesus revealed to us what God is like." i would hardly say i have an intense, compassionate love for myself, and i don't know that i see that in a ton of people.

i heard a famous pastor once say that "he's never seen a lazy, undisciplined man who's life wasn't in inner turmoil." agreed. so what about the disciplined, achiever? and what's their life like when they're not disciplined and achieving? i don't know. but i think we have two choices and that's to view ourselves the way God does, with a ferocious, unfailing love based on his immutable character. or we could walk by God's biblical definition of himself and make it conditional.

ps: in honor the title "desirable perception", i thought it would be fun to put up pictures of celebrity actors that i think it would be so sweet to look like when aged.