masculine review of "the vow"

i don't know if this is possible to do, but i felt it was necessary to give light to a masculine perception of the newest "girl movie". since it's opening on feb 10th, the movie has grossed a lot of money. i think it goes without saying that a majority of those viewers were women, but this guy went to see it too and i want to share my thoughts on the movie. i've never pretended like i have a great taste in what makes a good movie, but i think you could read what critics have to say if you're interested in a perspective that's highly educated about films. 


i'll start with the pro's: 


-SPOILER ALERT: it was a feel good story. everybody seemingly ended up with who they were supposed to be with and the toolbag ex boyfriend ended up with nobody. everybody loves that. 

-it made me want to buy a low rise apartment in a big city, find a really sweet job doing something i'm passionate about and take my "rachel mccadams" with me. in my mind, growing up in a small town, being a city has always just seemed sketchy, smoggy and honestly, very unappealing. great to visit, but only for long enough to miss a smaller city, town or suburb. a combination of an incredible talk by a gospel centered, urban minded pastor and the appeal of the city i saw in this movie has me itching to leave my rural routes for the time being. 


-most obviously, i was really challenged by leo (channing tatum). sure, he's a physical specimen and i'll continue to work out more faithfully as a result of seeing the movie, but the most admirable quality i saw in this seemingly fictional character is how 1) how much he initiated and pursued his wife and 2) the degree of perseverance he displayed in doing so. regardless of how much it seemed unfair to him, he pursued and cherished and loved his wife. i have my reservations about what was portrayed in this movie, but as a man, i was challenged by this projection of a man that was so quick to deny himself, vocationally, personally and relationally to pursue the heart of his betrothed.  


something i like to do when i watch movies is think about how it relates to my relationship with God. probably my favorite quality to see in a movie is a character denying themselves for the benefit of another with no expectation in return, or defined in a biblical sense, the word "love." leo's patience, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control all portrayed to his unknowing bride how he really feels about her, all for the sake of being in relationship. my sweetheart pointed out that he points us to the character and nature of the God that we both know as Christians, and i really value that observation. 
a key characteristic in my relationship with God, probably the one that has drawn me to God the most over time is this from Romans 2:4


"Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?"


that God loves me so much and it leads me to desire to change my ways, thoughts, ways i spend my time and money, to be more honoring to him.


to complete my review, i think i have to share a key reservation that i have about this movie. 
-i'm coming a little strong when i say that $85 million worth of people saw nearly 2 hours of "santa clause" on the screen. you know what i mean? sadly, "leo" is too good to be true outside of the person of Jesus Christ. something really great is that a good number of those people understand that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" romans 3:23, and that they could have been reminded of the perfection and undying love for the world that God has so clearly displayed for us. 

but my fear is for some of those that didn't bring in that perspective, and for the others that have no idea who Jesus is. that when they go back to their boyfriend, husband or any other male in their life, they will build this expectation, this hope, this false sense of reality that maybe an earthly man could compare to the fictional, cinematic character. that bitterness, a lack of appreciation and unfair expectation for who these guys should be would ensue from this sense of entitlement for their own personal "leo". don't get me wrong, i believe men were created for and should absolutely strive to die to themselves for their wives but for support of this potential bitterness, i attached an article of what i would perceive to be a way that girls can feel without that pursuit.  

i could be over thinking this whole situation but i think there's a reason why women line up in droves to see the "twilights" and "insert Nicholas Sparks novel turned movie here." i know that women are created differently than me, thoughts and desires and i'm in no way implying that there's anything wrong with looking forward to a husband or enjoying a good story, please don't hear that. i won't pretend, nor be so prideful, to think that i understand the female mind, but what i think is true is they desire love, a perfect, unconditional pursuit and valuing of their hearts. as a man, i'm completely aware of my sinfulness and inability to attain that level of perfection and my hope and desire is that everyone, myself, men and women would see that we can't find that love in a person here. 

disclaimer: i won't pretend like i, and my entire gender, don't have our laundry list of issues, specifically pride, selfishness, idolatry and lastly, idealizing in our relationships with women as well. 

new year's resolutions

i've discovered that the key to selecting good new year's resolutions are three fold:

simple, attainable, short term. i know that sounds fairly insignificant, but i achieved all 3 of my goals by groundhog day... just sayin. this update wasn't for me to brag, but to expose an idea of continual evaluation and goal setting. i'll use my goals for example: 

i removed the name of my partner in crime to provide a small amount of anonymity, but i wanted to focus more on what i "brought to the table", no pun intended. (we wrote our goals on our dinner table!). 

all bad jokes aside, i think i'm on to something. here were my goals: 

1. "laugh more, less 'i knows'"

this goal was a relational one, in that i just wanted to laugh more and enjoy life, while removing an element of pride, conversationally saying "i know", which just means I would value others   conversationally more. this has been fairly easy to do with an honest effort. 

2. "investing more in nonbelievers"

as a christian, i tend to spend time with people who understand and deeply value the things i do. also, i know that God's put the call on my life to bring His message of salvation to people who don't know Him. i think sometimes people feel like that's an awkward perception, but really i just wanted to be more intentional in spending time with people that i love that don't know God very well or at all. it's gone pretty well. 

3. "build 3 woodworked objects"

this goal was unashamedly a push to become more masculine in a lumberjack kind of way. honestly, i don't want to be 30 and not know how to construct basic things that could be asked of me at that phase in life. i just feel such a sense of accomplishment both a.) looking at things i've built and b.) knowing i have the ability to build things.  with the help of some incredible friends (thanks patrick and chase!) here's a few of my works of art: 

i really enjoyed doing these projects with my friends and being less prideful in conversations, but what i wanted to start to achieve with these goals was to be 1) more relational 2) more spiritually mature and 3) more of the man that i want to be someday. while these goals are small in nature, they're steps in the direction to achieve a vision of the kind of man that i hope to be someday.
so what i wanted to ask you is who you want to be someday. this next week, i'm hoping to talk with the spring pledge class of my fraternity and the 2 questions i want to ask them are both who do you want to be someday and what do you want to do with your life.
i think it's important that we have a vision, both in general and some specific ideas about who want to be someday, so that we can take small steps to be that person someday. my desire is to be a faithful steward of the life i've been given and i hope that the few things i share can help you to do the same.

happy short term goal setting friends!

titus helped hold down the tarp, what a guy.